Mmm Patty and Bun twice in one week.

I do confess I have a very big soft spot for Patty and Bun but who could blame me. I got for a short amount of time the special treatment. And so naturally I became quite loyal to the cool garage tune playing joint that served me delicious and very naughty burgers.
I've not documented my burger outings in just over a year and so felt that I must pen my last few burger adventures.

So first off, I ran 12.2 miles on Saturday and so I deserved a lovely tasty burger. Also I must make a note that recently I've been hankering and talking about my need for fried chicken. One mate at work says she can whip up a mean fried chicken, lucky for her I've not set up camp outside her house hoping for scraps thrown out the window. So naturally when passing by P&B at London Fields I decided there was no time like the present for a change in my ordering.

I went for the Hot Chick Chicken Burger.
Fuck it was good.
I mean really bloody awesomely good.

Perfectly packaged hot chick

Crunchy fried goodness

One hot chick

So good, that no sooner than five days later I brought my boyfriend to the P&B at soho and we had it again. He liked it. And his taste buds are much better than mine.

Round two: Patty and Bun, Soho

I know I can trust his opinion.

The chicken was hot, crispy, fried, succulent goodness. Gherkins and a slaw made it all combine into a creamy, crunchy and juicy concoction in my mouth. Just typing this is making my mouth water.

Get me back there NOW. Blimey.

Mmm... Bleecker Street Waterloo

I've been swimming a fair bit lately and after three nights of swimming on the trot I thought it was acceptable for me to indulge inone of the dirtiest burgers available in London. 

Enter Bleecker Street Burger down on the Southbank in Waterloo. A stones throw from the Udderbelly where I was meeting a friend for a show. I calculated I had just enough time to grab a burger and head in for the cabaret show. 

Right next to Look Mum No Hands under the  Hungerford Bridge it's now settled into a pretty permanent looking burger joint on the Southbank. Which is good news for those looking for a quick fix of meat on the river whilst enjoying the sunshine! 

I got in the queue and ordered! A double cheese burger, and fries.

I didn't quite like the fact that they cooked in batches. Basically the queue to order ends up in a queue to pick up, and whilst if you're at the beginning of that queue it's great, but if you're middle or at the end like me you end up having to wait for all the other slow people ahead of you to be called and pick up their burgers. And unlike me they're not half as excited so when their number is called they resemble some imbecile looking like they've never heard the number 72 before... Durrrrr!!!! Hurry the F up people!!!

Anyway the reason this riles me up is due to those extra seconds and moments mean my burger is still cooking itself, much like a nice beef joint. So it risks being overdone. And definitely not pink. This is bad news. And surely Bleecker should know better. I held my breath waiting and internally trying to hurry these people up! 

As a result half my double patty was definitely not pink whilst the other one was perfect. Bit of a shame! 

So I finally got my burger, and it was decidedly greasy. Consisting of cooked onions, two layers of cheese and burger sauce, it's pretty drippy! I did end up licking my fingers. A lot. The bun was pretty soggy in places, because of the batch process of cooking them and laying them out they lost their crispness waiting for all those patties to be ready.

And please don't hate me but I still would prefer a tiny bit of lettuce or at least something remotely healthy.

I got chips on the side! So I'm not that healthy! 

It was good though. Dirty good. Drippy tasty and really naughty! 

I did feel a little bit gross afterwards, even all those pool sessions can't really negate the badness of a Bleecker street burger. 

Bad but oh so good ;) 

Mmm... Patty and Bun at Night Tales

What can I say that I haven't already. Hmmm... I think I'm in love.

Not only do Patty and Bun have two epic-ly good restaurants under their belts, now they've added a sweet little lady to their duo. She's called Shirley and a Chilean birdie I know told me they shipped it over from the almighty US of A. Ohmagerd!!! She's a truck that makes burgers. I. Am. Infatuated.

Not only that but I'm even more excited because they're gonna be at Old Street's Night Tales with a ton of other lovely foodie vendors and bars and DJ and shizzle. God I'm literally having a heart attack.

So on the second night of Night Tales my favourite boy and I headed for Old Street in the pouring rain. Did I mention we were going to be popping his P and B cherry? Oh yes. This is getting serious.
Operation brainwash hot boy are a GO!

Unfortunately for us, half of bloody London had the same idea. The weather not dampening anyone's desire for good food. Warned of an hour's wait in the queue hot boy popped by the local off licence and picked up a couple of cans of Gin and Tonics! I think he's a keeper.

We waited, and waited, and laughed, and told food stories, and laughed more gulping down Gin and Tonic until it was finally time we were at the entrance. Four quid later each and we were in.

I didn't know where Patty and Bun's Shirley was but I could smell the deliciously naughty aroma of meat on a metal slab sizzling away and I zoned in on it. I almost forgot about hot chap, only for a millisecond mind you. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the Van.

There were two burger choices. The Arri Gold and the Pig Dipper.
The Arri Gold needs no explanation. We've already had that lovely meaty treat. But the Pig Dipper is new. Dipped Roast Pork Belly, Provolone Cheese, Sausage Gravy, Greens, Confit Duck, Nduja {which I later found out is a spicy spreadable sausage} in a sourdough bun. Something very different.

We ordered both and decided to share. It's getting serious with this boy, sharing has now become a common occurrence when it comes to burgers, amongst other things! We couldn't order the Shrimp poppaz or the skinny chips because they'd sold out. Meh. Nay bother though seeing as I'm only really interested in hot patties in buns. P&B sliced our burgers in two and we literally were chomping on the bit.

The Pig Dipper was first up. It was juicy, just a little spicy with a kick and perfectly cooked Pork Belly. The gravy made it super slippery. I had a real issue holding the whole thing together without falling apart considering my small girl hands. My hot chap on the other hand seemed to be coping quite well. If a little too well. I know I'm trying to brainwash him but wondered if I might be going too far. He might become a fatty pod person who only ever eats and talks burgers! Like me ha ha!

I can't help but get distracted when it comes to this boy. Apologies. Back to the burgers.

Overall the Pig Dipper wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be, especially since I'd experienced the Mr Miyagi all those years ago and it was a killer of a burger. Maybe stick to the perfect patty and an pork accompaniment nestled inside it next time guys?

Now to the Arri Gold. Well what can I say? I am a little bit in love with Patty and Bun for this meaty piece of heaven. I mean the beef, it's just so.... argh! I'll start again. The beef is just divine. It's soft and juicy and pink and bloomin' gorgeous. The meat is the killer decision for me. It's gotta be perfect. And P&B are winning when it comes to their meat.
Everything else in the burger is just winning, and I love the special Patty and Bun Smokey Mayo. The bun is beautifully soft, doesn't fall apart. It's like a good mansize tissue, strong and soft. You know we all need a little of that sometimes!

My hot chap liked it too. He likes food. I am officially a happy Burgerella!

Ten dirty stars for Patty and Bun. Actually make that Eleven.
I'm officially in love.

Mmm... Meat Mission en Masse

We transitioned through the tube, just about intact. Our party split, and two fights almost broke out but that's standard for most commutes through London. 

This was a pilgrimage after all. It wasn't supposed to be easy.

Finally we made it to Meat Mission and even though it was a Thursday our table was waiting... Whoop, it also helps when one of us is going out with the bar manager! 

We got our table round the side of the main room, an almost private dining experience... I've not been to a burger joint with this many people before. It's good! 

The general consensus was to eat loads. We went for the whole menu it seems! 

I chose the bacon cheeseburger and chicken fingers with fries. I was hungry. I diverted from my usual choice of the Dead Hippy, the doubleness being far too big for my current state. Since I'd had all of my wisdom teeth out this was my first proper meal out in public since my extraction.

Unfortunately my jaw still wasn't at full health and I could only manage tiny bird bites. 

But bite all the same, I was going to eat this goddamn burger. 

I've never seen so many burgers!

And it was yummy, although unfortunately it was far too done for my liking. I love a bit of bloodiness when it comes to my meat and this burger was devoid of the pinky goodness of medium rare. My guess is that the bacon cheeseburgers had been done first and while waiting for the rest of the burgers to cook up ours had time to sit and keep cooking. Shame really. 

The dead hippy brigade fared much better, I could see the oozing and bloody state of the meat and I was bloody jealous. That doesn't normally happen. I hate getting food envy. One thing I've learnt now is if you find a favourite stick with it. Next time I'll be having a dead hippie.

Our eyes were certainly too big for our bellies but we persevered through the mountain of food. There was a distinct feeling of having accomplished something when the last of the fries were pushed into our fat cheeks full of chicken, burgers and fries. 

Greedy bastards the lot of us, I've got some good work mates! 

A very good pilgrimage to the mission.

Mmm... Honest Soho

Wow, well having had a boozy night out with some very lovely friends of mine I was hankering after a good piece of meat to nurse my hangover. I shall forever accept the fact that I am a greedy bitch. There, it's out there. We can all move on now.

So feeling particularly ravenous and a little hungover there was nothing for it except a good burger and one that is a little less dirty than my normal go to burger at MeatMarket.

Honest in Soho was just the button. The best burger in Soho. A beautiful burger joint just a stones throw from the best boozers, gay bars, sex shops and massage parlours. 

Honest is a little welcome delight nestled in the heart of it all on Meard Street.

My hunk of a man wanted a burger too so what better way to spend some quality time together than over a good patty and the most divine chips you'll ever have. 

I've come to expect the best, and Honest didn't disappoint. Normally shunned by a two hour wait, we somehow managed to drop in and there was a hallowed table ready for us immediately. We were on the up. 

This was one of those times when I wasn't concerned when we decided to order the same burger. I don't like sharing and my amigo here didn't look like he was prepared to share either... Although I am coming round to sharing a burger with this guy. That'll be a first!

Luckily we both went for the Tribute burger so no sharing just yet.

A beautiful chunky beef patty, bacon, American cheese, burger sauce, mustard, pickle, lettuce and onion. Quite a burger. 

Oh and not forgetting the tastiest rosemary salted chips. They are so brilliant. It doesn't normally happen but sometimes at Honest I forget about the burger because the chips are so good. And that's not because the burger ain't all that. Oh no. When I do remember about the poor lil patty sitting there dejected I take a bite and then remember that these things are both brilliant. Perfect together like me and my hunky friend!

So our burgers arrived and they were pretty special looking. This was my first burger outing with my friend and I was hoping to impress. He looked it. Phew! 

Now for the taste test! 

A pink patty, juicy and seasoned to perfection. The cheese had melted to a goo and stuck the patty to the perfectly soft brioche bun. The onions, pickle burger sauce and mustard all complemented the whole ensemble. It was a little dirty but not overly so. It was divine. 

I don't quite know what else to say as at that point I descended into a sort of like trance. Maybe it was a mixture of the hot burger and the hot boy. Ha. Who knows.

Boy that was a good burger.

Mmm... Stax

So after a pretty sweaty session in town we were looking for a new burger joint. Yoga session of course. Honestly what were you thinking??

We were in Kingly Court and decided we may as well make the most of the many restaurants around. Stax caught my friends eye and we made a decision to go there. 

The main items were of course the burgers. But Stax is all about the American Diner style of cooking, so there were loads of other things on the menu like fried chicken and green tomatoes... We were spoiled for choice. Also must mention that the proprietor is also the one and only Bea of Beas of Bloomsbury. I think we'll be in good hands! 

I of course went for a burger, the Big Stax. All I could imagine is a hot beefy man of a burger, rippling muscles and you know... A good grip.

Inside the brioche bun is a spicy sauce, maple glazed beef bacon, a 28 day aged beef patty, caramelised onion, lettuce, tomato and cheese of my choice, so I went for the Monterey Jack. My burger man is called Jack Stax. He's a crack shot, has guns of steel and rides a Harley! Ha ha. Sorry totally getting carried away! 

The joint was busy so we were told there'd be a wait for our food of twenty minutes, but that didn't sound too bad so we stuck around. 

The big fat patty arrived, and looked pretty epic actually. A nice shiny brioche bun with a hell of a lot of things inside it. Unfortunately my beef was a little overdone, even though I'd ordered medium rare. Poor jack had been at the sunbeds again. There were no pink bits dammit. The burger itself was juicy though and my first bite was a bit messy. Jack Stax had redeemed himself. That's how I like it! 

There was loads and I mean a shit ton of caramelised onion. The bacon beef, something of a surprise as none of us had had it before was unusual. Thin slices of beef, probably soaked in some sugar syrup and then slow cooked. Giving it a consistency similar to bacon. It's good but it almost overpowers the patty... 

It's a dirty burger. Dripping juice all in the basket. 

Like the titanic, the icebergs were a little large. A proper shredding of the lettuce next time I think and not so much of it. The slice of tomato was standard.

Cajun chips, are pretty spicy. With a dusting of rosemary... Which was a nice touch. Although really what's wrong with a nice French fry with no crazy stuff on it? 

I liked the slugs, also known as Fried gherkins. Pretty yummy, although the fried stuff fell off the gherkin at first touch. And that stuff was pretty yummy. I wished I'd ordered the fried chicken burger, because it looked real good. Poor Mr Stax... It was never gonna work out. I could tell he liked his motorbike more than me.

Not forgetting my Oreo cookie milk shake. Wow very yummy and thick and creamy. It was like a desert! Mmm tasty.

Overall a good visit. My burger buddies had mixed reviews, everyone agreeing the beef bacon was a little too overpowering on the beef. But the burger was a beautiful stack of meat so who could complain! 

Mmm... Honest Oxford Street

The dirtiness of our burger night out reached new heights tonight. 

Armed with six vouchers that entitled each bearer a free burger at the new Honest Burger a stones throw from Oxford Circus we were excited. Less so when we were told the wait was over an hour. 

The group was prepared to wait! It was a free burger after all...

The wait list gal informed us that we could download an app that told us where we were in the queue and that it would beep when they were ready for us. 

Cool. Don't you just love modern tech?!? 

Our wait wasn't so bad as there's loads of bars on Market Place and behind Oxford Street so we found a spot to hang out at while we waited and our hunger grew...

Eventually that buzzer buzzed and we excitedly got our butts to the restaurant before we lost our space. 

Our vouchers allowed us to have any burger we wanted, regardless of whether it was a single or double. I personally went for the special which was right up my street...Beef mmm yum, smoked cheddar, bacon ketchup - what?!? Oh yes this was the bees knees. Not forgetting the onion rings, jalapeños and lettuce. Oh and chips come as standard. This sounded like a very tasty treat.

The table was pretty even keeled on the ordering, a couple with bigger appetites who went for the Honest Federation. An Honest burger but double patties... I don't quite know how they managed to get their chops around the thing. Maybe next time.

So the patty. Where do I start? One of the biggest I've ever seen, and well I've seen a fair few now. You really are getting your money's worth here. At least an inch and a half thick patty, cooked medium rare, pink and juicy and perfectly seasoned. I could have had it all on it's lonesome it's so good. But where would the fun be in that? 

They know how to sex up a burger here at Honest. Bacon Ketchup. Whatever next. But seriously it was a little orgasm in my mouth. I don't think I've been impressed by a burger in this way since my first dirty affair with Meat Market. For purely different reasons mind! 

Did I also mention that one of our party was breaking his vegetarianism for this visit. Seriously that's how good it is. Later he told me he felt like King Henry the eighth after his burger!!! Ha. 

My burger fellows were seriously content with their choices. Special mention goes to J for finishing off her federation. The girl put it away and I have upmost respect for her. She was obviously hungry for some good meat ;)

Also, she hoovered up her crispy chips and then swapped her plate with her neighbour who'd been hoovering up his regular chips. Win. And yeah the chips were just bloody perfect. Nice little crispy morsels that reminded me of my crazy grannies roast potatoes. The crispy ones are the best! 

Mmm. Hell yeah.

And so that was honest, six very happy punters who spent barely a penny! Oh that reminds me. One of our group came out with the comment of the night. You know you've had a good burger when you need to wash your hands before you pee... 

He he

Honest Burger Oxford Circus

4 Market Place

London W1W 8AD

+44 (0)20 3302 3990

Mon to Sat

11.30–23.00

Sun

11.30–22.00

Mmm... Bukowski Grill

The fat gringo at bukowski in box park. No 61.

My mate and I needed a beer and a burger. There's an array of burger joints in Shoreditch and I saw that Bukowski had opened up in Box Park, so what better way to see how it compares to the Brixton one. So after checking out the bow and arrows at the Truman brewery we headed up Brick Lane and to Box Park. 

Thursday nights are a mash up in this part of town, where the suits meet the cool kids. There was some kind of beat box rapping comp taking place in the middle of Box Park and the kids were too cool for school, or at least too cool for the suit/football kitted up city boys. After walking the length of the shipping containers twice we found Bukowskis at no 61. It's tucked away in the corner and we walked straight past it at first. It's a tiny place with only three booths, but luckily there's a load of seating outside so we were able to order from the lovely bearded man at the beer pump and get a seat and wait.

We both went for the Fat Gringo. I like a good name.

And we weren't disappointed. Cooked a little more than the medium rare I ordered, it didn't make too much of a difference as the juices and quality of the patty were good. 

I clearly have feeble girl hands because the contents of my burger were falling out of the bun as soon as I took my first bite. In my opinion it makes it all the more fun. But my burger buddy teased me about it and said if I really was such a Burger connoisseur I ought to learn how to hold it properly. Whatevs. He has big hands. And giant bites. He had an unfair advantage! 

So back to the burger. The Jalapeno Mustard was spicy and sweet and just the right side of hot. 

The cheese mixed with the mustard creating this beautifully gooey mess, and licking my fingers was a bit of a treat! I like it dirty evidently. The candied bacon was good but I could have done with it a little more on the crispy side. And the brioche bun was a real winner, like a good band manager dealing with too many crazy guitarists... It's a tough gig but it managed to hold everything together! A special mention must go to the smoked pickles garnishing the top of the burger. They were very special. I wanna know where I can get a jar of those!  

After we polished off our plates we finished the rest of our beers and rubbed our well fed bellies. "That was a good shout Burger bitch" my mate said. 

I'd have to agree.

The Fat Gringo £9.95 

Beef patty, topped with Monterrey Jack cheese and candied bacon, jalapeno mustard, red onions, tomato, lettuce and a smoked pic

http://www.bukowski-grill.co.uk/