Mmm... Honest Camden

Well it's been a while. Yoga and Burgers on a Wednesday with my best bud Alan. He's the most awesome runner. This past weekend he ran 84 miles in the countryside. I managed a measly 10. But who's counting?

Me and Alan have a special relationship. One of Yin and Yang. And NamaSTEAK!
After a sweaty session of yoga the obvious choice was a meat fuelled dinner to celebrate and catch up. This is our tradition. Or should I say he's an enabler of my addiction! he he.

So from our yoga sesh in Swiss Cottage we bussed it over to Camden Lock for a yummy and might I add quiet bite at Honest Burgers, Camden.

The place was quiet. Mwah ha ha ha... my best evil laugh. Because I know what a bitch it is to get a table at the Soho joint. We walked in and had our pick of the tables. We didn't really care though. We just wanted a good bit of meat. And we were not going to be disappointed.

Honestly this place is one of the best. It's my number two. Which is quite apt as Alan is best bud #2 after Edbob left me for South Africa.

So to the burgers. We both went for The Tribute, a gooey concoction of Beef, Bacon, American Cheese, Burger Sauce, French's Mustard, Pickles, Onion and Lettuce. Holy Cow. Hubba Hubba.

They arrived, on a bed of their lovely rosemary fries and boy I then realised how hungry I was. Mmm yum.

The burger was already dripping with dirty goodness before I even took a bite, I love a dirty burger.
This time the burger sauce really came through and it tasted amazing, tangy and smooth. The meat was juicy pink and just delish. Argh. The juices dripped all over my hand and onto the plate below. One bite caused te juices to run down my chin, neck and almost very nearly onto my blouse. I always make a mess. It Started to resemble a sweaty seventies porno, and not in a good way. Poor Alan, I don't know how he puts up with me! The dirtiest burger bitch to grace the land!

I scoffed my way through the burger and fries and felt particularly smug about it. Since we'd rebalanced at yoga and got all Zen I felt a little bit naughty that I'd reset the balance just a little bit more to the naughty side after this meaty treat! 

Honest you are very very good. And I am very very bad.

Mmm Patty and Bun twice in one week.

I do confess I have a very big soft spot for Patty and Bun but who could blame me. I got for a short amount of time the special treatment. And so naturally I became quite loyal to the cool garage tune playing joint that served me delicious and very naughty burgers.
I've not documented my burger outings in just over a year and so felt that I must pen my last few burger adventures.

So first off, I ran 12.2 miles on Saturday and so I deserved a lovely tasty burger. Also I must make a note that recently I've been hankering and talking about my need for fried chicken. One mate at work says she can whip up a mean fried chicken, lucky for her I've not set up camp outside her house hoping for scraps thrown out the window. So naturally when passing by P&B at London Fields I decided there was no time like the present for a change in my ordering.

I went for the Hot Chick Chicken Burger.
Fuck it was good.
I mean really bloody awesomely good.

Perfectly packaged hot chick

Crunchy fried goodness

One hot chick

So good, that no sooner than five days later I brought my boyfriend to the P&B at soho and we had it again. He liked it. And his taste buds are much better than mine.

Round two: Patty and Bun, Soho

I know I can trust his opinion.

The chicken was hot, crispy, fried, succulent goodness. Gherkins and a slaw made it all combine into a creamy, crunchy and juicy concoction in my mouth. Just typing this is making my mouth water.

Get me back there NOW. Blimey.

Mmm... Bleecker Street Waterloo

I've been swimming a fair bit lately and after three nights of swimming on the trot I thought it was acceptable for me to indulge inone of the dirtiest burgers available in London. 

Enter Bleecker Street Burger down on the Southbank in Waterloo. A stones throw from the Udderbelly where I was meeting a friend for a show. I calculated I had just enough time to grab a burger and head in for the cabaret show. 

Right next to Look Mum No Hands under the  Hungerford Bridge it's now settled into a pretty permanent looking burger joint on the Southbank. Which is good news for those looking for a quick fix of meat on the river whilst enjoying the sunshine! 

I got in the queue and ordered! A double cheese burger, and fries.

I didn't quite like the fact that they cooked in batches. Basically the queue to order ends up in a queue to pick up, and whilst if you're at the beginning of that queue it's great, but if you're middle or at the end like me you end up having to wait for all the other slow people ahead of you to be called and pick up their burgers. And unlike me they're not half as excited so when their number is called they resemble some imbecile looking like they've never heard the number 72 before... Durrrrr!!!! Hurry the F up people!!!

Anyway the reason this riles me up is due to those extra seconds and moments mean my burger is still cooking itself, much like a nice beef joint. So it risks being overdone. And definitely not pink. This is bad news. And surely Bleecker should know better. I held my breath waiting and internally trying to hurry these people up! 

As a result half my double patty was definitely not pink whilst the other one was perfect. Bit of a shame! 

So I finally got my burger, and it was decidedly greasy. Consisting of cooked onions, two layers of cheese and burger sauce, it's pretty drippy! I did end up licking my fingers. A lot. The bun was pretty soggy in places, because of the batch process of cooking them and laying them out they lost their crispness waiting for all those patties to be ready.

And please don't hate me but I still would prefer a tiny bit of lettuce or at least something remotely healthy.

I got chips on the side! So I'm not that healthy! 

It was good though. Dirty good. Drippy tasty and really naughty! 

I did feel a little bit gross afterwards, even all those pool sessions can't really negate the badness of a Bleecker street burger. 

Bad but oh so good ;) 

Mmm... Patty and Bun at Night Tales

What can I say that I haven't already. Hmmm... I think I'm in love.

Not only do Patty and Bun have two epic-ly good restaurants under their belts, now they've added a sweet little lady to their duo. She's called Shirley and a Chilean birdie I know told me they shipped it over from the almighty US of A. Ohmagerd!!! She's a truck that makes burgers. I. Am. Infatuated.

Not only that but I'm even more excited because they're gonna be at Old Street's Night Tales with a ton of other lovely foodie vendors and bars and DJ and shizzle. God I'm literally having a heart attack.

So on the second night of Night Tales my favourite boy and I headed for Old Street in the pouring rain. Did I mention we were going to be popping his P and B cherry? Oh yes. This is getting serious.
Operation brainwash hot boy are a GO!

Unfortunately for us, half of bloody London had the same idea. The weather not dampening anyone's desire for good food. Warned of an hour's wait in the queue hot boy popped by the local off licence and picked up a couple of cans of Gin and Tonics! I think he's a keeper.

We waited, and waited, and laughed, and told food stories, and laughed more gulping down Gin and Tonic until it was finally time we were at the entrance. Four quid later each and we were in.

I didn't know where Patty and Bun's Shirley was but I could smell the deliciously naughty aroma of meat on a metal slab sizzling away and I zoned in on it. I almost forgot about hot chap, only for a millisecond mind you. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the Van.

There were two burger choices. The Arri Gold and the Pig Dipper.
The Arri Gold needs no explanation. We've already had that lovely meaty treat. But the Pig Dipper is new. Dipped Roast Pork Belly, Provolone Cheese, Sausage Gravy, Greens, Confit Duck, Nduja {which I later found out is a spicy spreadable sausage} in a sourdough bun. Something very different.

We ordered both and decided to share. It's getting serious with this boy, sharing has now become a common occurrence when it comes to burgers, amongst other things! We couldn't order the Shrimp poppaz or the skinny chips because they'd sold out. Meh. Nay bother though seeing as I'm only really interested in hot patties in buns. P&B sliced our burgers in two and we literally were chomping on the bit.

The Pig Dipper was first up. It was juicy, just a little spicy with a kick and perfectly cooked Pork Belly. The gravy made it super slippery. I had a real issue holding the whole thing together without falling apart considering my small girl hands. My hot chap on the other hand seemed to be coping quite well. If a little too well. I know I'm trying to brainwash him but wondered if I might be going too far. He might become a fatty pod person who only ever eats and talks burgers! Like me ha ha!

I can't help but get distracted when it comes to this boy. Apologies. Back to the burgers.

Overall the Pig Dipper wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be, especially since I'd experienced the Mr Miyagi all those years ago and it was a killer of a burger. Maybe stick to the perfect patty and an pork accompaniment nestled inside it next time guys?

Now to the Arri Gold. Well what can I say? I am a little bit in love with Patty and Bun for this meaty piece of heaven. I mean the beef, it's just so.... argh! I'll start again. The beef is just divine. It's soft and juicy and pink and bloomin' gorgeous. The meat is the killer decision for me. It's gotta be perfect. And P&B are winning when it comes to their meat.
Everything else in the burger is just winning, and I love the special Patty and Bun Smokey Mayo. The bun is beautifully soft, doesn't fall apart. It's like a good mansize tissue, strong and soft. You know we all need a little of that sometimes!

My hot chap liked it too. He likes food. I am officially a happy Burgerella!

Ten dirty stars for Patty and Bun. Actually make that Eleven.
I'm officially in love.

Mmm... Meat Mission en Masse

We transitioned through the tube, just about intact. Our party split, and two fights almost broke out but that's standard for most commutes through London. 

This was a pilgrimage after all. It wasn't supposed to be easy.

Finally we made it to Meat Mission and even though it was a Thursday our table was waiting... Whoop, it also helps when one of us is going out with the bar manager! 

We got our table round the side of the main room, an almost private dining experience... I've not been to a burger joint with this many people before. It's good! 

The general consensus was to eat loads. We went for the whole menu it seems! 

I chose the bacon cheeseburger and chicken fingers with fries. I was hungry. I diverted from my usual choice of the Dead Hippy, the doubleness being far too big for my current state. Since I'd had all of my wisdom teeth out this was my first proper meal out in public since my extraction.

Unfortunately my jaw still wasn't at full health and I could only manage tiny bird bites. 

But bite all the same, I was going to eat this goddamn burger. 

I've never seen so many burgers!

And it was yummy, although unfortunately it was far too done for my liking. I love a bit of bloodiness when it comes to my meat and this burger was devoid of the pinky goodness of medium rare. My guess is that the bacon cheeseburgers had been done first and while waiting for the rest of the burgers to cook up ours had time to sit and keep cooking. Shame really. 

The dead hippy brigade fared much better, I could see the oozing and bloody state of the meat and I was bloody jealous. That doesn't normally happen. I hate getting food envy. One thing I've learnt now is if you find a favourite stick with it. Next time I'll be having a dead hippie.

Our eyes were certainly too big for our bellies but we persevered through the mountain of food. There was a distinct feeling of having accomplished something when the last of the fries were pushed into our fat cheeks full of chicken, burgers and fries. 

Greedy bastards the lot of us, I've got some good work mates! 

A very good pilgrimage to the mission.

Mmm... Byron The Cut Waterloo

I think I got it bad. This burger problem of mine. Firstly my dear old dear has been on the phone telling me I ought to be consuming more greens and less red meat. As if that's gonna happen. Then I go and meet a very lovely chap who is a little taken aback by my meat addiction. 

I never said I was perfect. Far from it. Anyway, so now it's on. My attempt at brainwashing hot chap into thinking my addiction ain't so bad! As far as my mum is concerned it's her job to worry and it's my job to make her worry so why muck up the equilibrium? 

After all I am only partaking in burgers once at week and of course I'm quite sporty for a burger addict. It could be worse.

But I'm hoping the boy becomes a regular fixture so I can't quite curtail my burger exploits so brainwashing mode is on.

Firstly I took him to Honest, a very good burger joint. I definitely think I impressed him (I hope).

Now I have to take him to another burger joint. It's kind of an initiation into the world of a girl addicted to meat. Ha. Not for the faint hearted. Thing is, I've figured if he still likes me after seeing me devour a double patty oozing with dirty goodness then he might be a keeper. 

I was attempting my most demure self the last time but this time is different. And of course it's building up to the ultimate burger frenzied visit. Patty and Bun. This guy is special.

Byron, now let's get this straight. I'm a little averse to chains. You know the food establishment kind. Chains for other pursuits if you know what I mean are fine, and actually a little fun! Ha.

Anyway back to Byron, I think I have to give them a little kudos since they're attempting to give maccie ds a run for their money. I mean they've got chains ALL over London. It's mental! One look on my favourite App ever made Burgerac will show you what I mean. They're taking over dude. I can't ignore them anymore!

So we went to Byron. I was a little worried it wouldn't live up to the superb quality of Honest. But actually Byron was a very nice surprise.

We ordered the smoky and shady, the latter being their current special.

And fries. Oh and I ordered a great Oreo milkshake. He's definitely gonna think I'm a fatty... It's only a matter of time! 

The burgers came and they were good. The right side of pinkness. The brioche buns were light and held the patties perfectly. We shared our burgers. Cutting them in half. I don't normally do this. As most of my burger buddies will attest to.

The smokey was good, however if I compare it to the PandB version of a smokey burger it wasn't a patch on it. 

The Shady on the other hand was epic. Inbetween was a grilled gooey and caramelised cheese that stuck the patty and bun together perfectly. I don't know how they did it but it was the most perfect grilled cheese ever. 

We were both very happy and full. 

Nice work Byron.

Project Brainwash Hot Chap is GO! 

And the best thing about it is I've now got a proper burger buddy to hang out with. 

Mmm... Honest Burger Oxford Circus

Hitting a burger joint on a rainy Monday night with a vegetarian isn't going to be the best idea I've ever had. Luckily there were three of us and the vegetarian was outnumbered. Ha ha! And we'd had a fair amount of red wine so we just wanted to get out the rain and get dinner! I of course just wanted some meat.

I have actually gone to a burger joint with a veggie who allows himself a piece of meat very very occasionally. His quote from said visit that he 'felt like King Henry the VIII' was pretty funny. Maybe we were in for a similar experience?

My fellow meat eater and I were in for a bit of flack. But we were unaware of this at that point. Just a word of advice. If you like meat a LOT it's probably not wise going to a beautiful burger joint with a vegetarian, and newly upgraded vegan! Argh! Although credit to her...  The fact that she even walked into Honest burgers just off Oxford Street was a bonus. I love how secretly I was thinking that even though she didn't partake in the meat eating she was still supporting the cause by buying food!

I ordered the special. An homage to Spain that consisted of a concoction of meat like a cured ham atop a beautiful cheese and a signature beautiful honest patty, not forgetting a large roasted red pepper that added a sweet dimension to the burger. Oh and the lovely lovely rosemary chips.

My compadre went for the cheeseburger. We were very happy with our choices.

And the veggie ordered the chips. Meh. I'm not quite sure what to say about this. Except maybe it was my fault that I said how much I loved their rosemary fries. Hmmm I was kind of looking forward to trying a bite of the veggie offering. It wasn't to be. 

Three can be a crowd sometimes and this time it definitely was. My fellow burger buddy and I heartily tucked into our burgers with gusto. 

We were really enjoying the beautiful morsels of juicy meat tucked up into beautiful soft brioche buns, while the poor veggie just had a bowl of chips to tuck into. I know who was winning here. 

Unsurprisingly we got into a heated debate about the terrible carnage the consumption of meat was doing to our planet. 

Actually it was more like a vegan tirade against meat and whatever we said wouldn't have made a foie gras difference. 

That'll be the booze talking! 

Suffice to say I probably won't be attending any burger joints with a vegetarian again. Except maybe our King Henry dude.

All in all it was a particularly weird visit to a burger joint. But I came away happy, and full so job done.

Maybe next time I can take the veggie to Meat Mission and they can turn her into a Dead Hippie!!! Ha!